I’m just “determined.”

Kelly and I are very similar creatures.  We have the same outlook on a lot of things in life, enjoy making light hearted fun of people, and have an independent streak that would put any non-party political candidate to shame.  Some might call us stubborn…we prefer the term “determined.”

My determination can get in my own way sometimes.  I HATE having to ask for help.  Usually, I’m of the opinion that if I can’t work it out on my own, I probably shouldn’t be doing it.  But from time to time, I have to ask for help.  I will go out of my way and take ridiculous extra steps to avoid having to ask for help, if I can.  And if I must ask for help, I will ask for the bare minimum.

And god forbid that I actually get up the nerve to ask someone for help and I detect even the slightest hint of the fact that I might be inconveniencing them.  I will just find another way around it.

For the last few weeks, I feel like I’ve been asking everyone around me for help. And it drives me crazy…But when you’re carless, money-less and your computer blows up, sometimes you have no choice.

Case in point:  tomorrow, I pick up my new car.  I also have (well, had now) a rental car that I was driving.  It’s pretty much impossible to pick up one car and get the other car back to the rental car place without asking for help.  So, I am inconveniencing three people to help me.  Tonight, after photography class, Kelly followed me to the airport to drop the rental car off, and then drove me 10 miles out of her way to drop me at home.  Tomorrow morning, the CFO, who lives around the block from me, will pick me up and take me to the office.  And at lunch, my co-worker (and friend) will drive me over to the car dealership to pick up my car.

I have yet to figure out why I have this complex about asking for help.  Perhaps it’s the oldest-child-in-a-single-parent home complex.  Perhaps it’s just being the oldest kid.  Or maybe I’ve just been burned by enough people that I realize there are very few people you can ask for “favors” and them not expect anything in return.  Or a combination of all of the above.  I don’t know.

Whatever the case, if I’ve asked you for help recently, thank you.  I am indebted.

Love,

The Determined One

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