Last night, I watched a girl get so drunk that she passed out on the floor at the bar (and then proceeded to vomit everywhere). It took a team of us – who didn’t even know her – to get her cleaned up and outside for some fresh air. This poor girl had been left alone at the bar by her friends. She had no one there but the bar staff and three strangers who cared about her getting home safely. Who leaves their friend at a bar? We eventually tracked down a friend of hers using her cell phone. He walked to the bar to get her and was so flipping cavalier about it I wanted to smack him. Two other girls and I hailed a cab for them. I’m pretty sure her friend was a big jerk.
This morning, I’m sitting here having my cup of spiced cider and thinking about that girl. I don’t know what her story was, but there were things she said and clues that maybe things weren’t going so great in her life. I hope she got home okay, and I hope she doesn’t wake up this morning feeling too badly, or feeling embarrassed about what happened. We’ve all been there…well, maybe not there, but we’ve all done things that we’re not too proud of. You live and you learn; sometimes the lessons don’t come easily, sometimes they hurt emotionally and physically, and sometimes they come with a hangover…
At 36, although there are always things I wish I could improve, I’m happy with my life and proud of the person I am. But I’m still learning lessons, and still reminded daily that life is precious. This year has been a testament to the fact that you never know where your life is going to take a big fat right turn. When my Mom was diagnosed with cancer this summer and then had serious complications from the treatment, I was touched by the outpouring of love from our family and our friends. And I was reminded over and over again how lucky I am to have my Mom; she really has given me, my brother, and my sister everything. I was blown away by the kindness of strangers, too – when you hear all these negative media reports about the health care system, go sit in an ICU unit for a few days and watch how the nurses care for people. Then there are the “little things”… Like that I tend to hang onto things I shouldn’t – anger, sadness, hurt feelings – too long. So I’m trying very hard to let things go – “put it in a little red balloon and let it float away,” as Shelia says. And although I still take everything too seriously, I’m finally learning to laugh at myself. And just recently, I started writing again, something I had thought I’d lost the ability to do. Still learning about myself, and still surprising myself…
My friend Shane Hines released a new record this week. It’s called All the Quiet, All the Chaos. And it’s a record about this very thing – life’s curveballs, surprises, and little victories. One of the tracks is called “Nobody Tells You Anything.” I loved it the moment I heard it three or so years ago when he first started playing it, so I’m happy it found its way onto this record. I thought I’d share the lyrics here, because they’ve been running through my head this morning. And because it’s just a reminder that life can always surprise us, and that we should never take what we have for granted.
Nobody Tells You Anything – written by Shane Hines
When you wake in the morning, who knows what the day brings
The sorrow comes on without warning, and she spreads her wings
You either rise or you give up, a change in who you are to who you want to be
It’s hard to admit what is and what once was, and not to live in the space between
Cause nobody tells you love is gonna come and go
Nobody tells you God is someone you’ll never know
Nobody tells you friends will take the other side
Nobody tells you scars are usually on the inside
Nobody tells you wars inside will always rage
Nobody tells you that you can’t outrun heartbreak
Nobody tells you why you have to know the pain of watching someone you love suffer and slip away
Yeah nobody, nobody tells you anything
When you wake in the morning, who knows what the day brings
Cause happiness comes on without warning and she spreads her wings
Cause nobody tells you ’bout watching the sunrise
Nobody tells you how good it feels after you cry
Nobody tells you ’bout staying up all night with friends
Nobody tells you ’bout the first snow of the season
Nobody tells you that pain eventually goes away
Nobody tells you the best things can never be explained
Nobody tells you how a heart ripped and torn knows nothing but joy when your child is born
Yeah nobody, nobody tells you anything
Cause nobody believes, no matter how hard you try
The one thing that we cannot control is time
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